Bipolar II

It makes sense, but it's kind of annoying....  I never want to write in this when I'm down, and when I'm up I can think of lots of things I want to write in this but don't want to spend the time because there are 100 other things I can think of doing that feel more important or more fun or what have you.

Big news first, my psychiatrist officially diagnosed me with Bipolar II about a week and a half ago.  That rocked my world for a bit while I read up.  I have rather sudden mood swings into lows and very deep lows but no mania.  Sometimes in between I am hypomanic, which means "little mania."  I never get delusional while manic.  Usually, sadly, my hypomanic stages are much more irritable and anxious than anything resembling "overly happy". 

Dreams

I have lots of crazy dreams.  Not too many nightmares in the last week, which is awesome.  Usually I'm just full of nightmares.  It might be fun to write down some of the less-scary ones.  They are SO random.

Last night I dreamed that I drove out to some foothills to meet a guy who friended me on facebook (before Jared, A.D.).  It turned out he had more of a date in mind than I was expecting and so he freaked out when he found out I was young twentys and he was 56.  So he just stammered something awkwardly about being sorry and ran off.  But that was ok, when I parked my car at the festival thing I met him at, there were giraffes just running around everywhere in the parking lot.  And a giraffe knocked over a light pole and broke it in half, crunching metal and all.  I was concerned, but someone near me assured me it was just fine.

Is it really March 3?  I keep forgetting it's March now.

Depression sucks.

I've had ongoing depression now for six years.  It sometimes takes different forms, but it's always been there at some level.